Words That Work: The Neuroscience of Positivity in Customer Service

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When I recently taught a workshop on customer service, I framed it around words that work—phrases that help us face tough situations with calm, compassion, and clarity. We explored affirmations, neuroplasticity, and how language can literally reshape the brain.

Afterward, someone commented, “This felt more like a positivity workshop than customer service.”
And they were right—because positivity is a vital part of great service.

But let’s get one thing straight: this isn’t about toxic positivity.
It’s not about ignoring problems or forcing a smile when you’re upset. It’s about using the brain’s own wiring to stay centered and effective when challenges come your way.


🧠 The Brain Behind the Words

Here’s what’s happening under the surface: when we’re stressed, our amygdala—the brain’s alarm system—flares up, releasing cortisol and adrenaline. This triggers fight, flight, or freeze. In that state, logic and empathy go offline. It’s why someone’s tone or complaint can suddenly feel like a personal attack.

But when we consciously pause—take a deep breath, smile, and choose steady, affirming words like “Let’s figure this out together”—we send a signal of safety to the brain. The amygdala settles down, and the prefrontal cortex (our rational, creative problem-solving center) switches back on. That’s when we regain access to empathy, patience, and innovation.

And yes—smiling is contagious. Mirror neurons in our brains respond to facial expressions, meaning that your calm, genuine smile can trigger a subtle emotional reset in someone else. That’s science, not sentimentality.


🧩 The Power of Neuroplasticity and Affirmations

Neuroplasticity is the brain’s ability to reorganize itself by forming new neural connections. Think of it as your brain’s “muscle memory” for thought patterns. Every time you respond calmly instead of reacting defensively, you’re reinforcing a new pathway—teaching your brain that this approach works.

Affirmations are one of the simplest ways to strengthen these positive neural pathways. When you repeat an affirmation like “I can stay calm and kind even when things get difficult,” you’re not trying to trick your brain—you’re training it. Over time, this repeated message reshapes the automatic responses that trigger frustration or anxiety.

In other words, affirmations are practice for your brain. They’re mental rehearsals that make calm and empathy your default mode instead of your emergency backup.

These same principles show up in my book 30 Days of Micro-Creativity. Each small creative act—whether doodling for five minutes, taking a mindful walk, or jotting down a single thought—is a mini exercise in neuroplasticity. Every time you choose curiosity over criticism, or calm over chaos, you’re gently retraining your brain to focus on what’s possible instead of what’s stressful. You’re not just making art or journaling—you’re literally reshaping your mind for resilience and joy.


💬 Service as Connection

If you think you don’t have “customers,” think again. Whether it’s a colleague, student, or patron, every interaction is a chance to build connection and trust. The experience matters—for you and for them.

So, no—this wasn’t “just a positivity workshop.” It was a workshop about emotional intelligence, brain science, and the quiet power of choosing words that work.

Because customer service isn’t about smiling through frustration. It’s about using science to bring out your best self—even when the situation isn’t.

And the best part? The more you practice it, the more your brain changes to make it easier next time.


Dr Jen’s Takeaways:

  • The amygdala triggers fight-or-flight under stress; calm tones send it a safety signal.
  • The prefrontal cortex regains control when calm returns, unlocking creativity and empathy.
  • Affirmations act as mental training for those pathways.
  • Smiling activates mirror neurons—your calm helps others feel calm too.
  • Neuroplasticity means the more you practice calm communication, the stronger those neural pathways become.

💛 Want to learn more about rewiring your brain for calm, creativity, and connection? Subscribe to receive alerts for future posts and check out my book 30 Days of Micro-Creativity for simple, science-backed ways to build resilience and joy one small act at a time.


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